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Paul Bunyan, the Tin Woodman, Woodrow Wilson, and Other Experts Weigh In on Timber! Outdoor Music Festival

by The Stranger Cassandra SwanThe Huntsman from Snow White
At first, when I heard a bunch of vanilla indie hipsters were about to descend on the hallowed sanctity of Tolt-MacDonald Park, I cried to the heavens: "Spare me this mockery of justice! I will run away into the forest and never come home again!" But as it turns out, they tend to be pretty nice as people (though at a certain point, even I was like, "Damn, fellas, what if one of you tried not having a beard?"). Also, the bands are usually

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